Junction

Chances are, if you’re someone who even spends one day a week on tumblr, you probably know what I’m about to talk about. But I’ll try to do it with a little more grace than “OMG HOLLSTEIN.” I am not a fangirl, at least not the screeching kind. I’ll leave that to Emily (who totally has posted that exact phrase before, by the by). Morgan gave me a little help with this one since she’s the book nut. I keep trying to convince her to get her own blog because girls–I mean, people–go crazy for a bookworm.

Anyway. The lesbian vampire trope is about as old as vampires themselves. Mainly because a lesbian vampire was basically our first vampire. Sure, Polidori’s (not Lord Byron’s) The Vampyre was the first prose edition of this folk monster, but most of the shit we think and believe about vampires came from another novel that predated good old Drac by a solid 26 years. I’m talking, of course, about the Sappho of our time: Carmilla. The 19th and 20th century’s ultimate symbol for how gay could you possibly get. Like seriously. This chick does not keep her hands to herself and she’s reciting corny poetry at our protagonist–Laura–every five seconds.

Gaaaaay.

But anyway, this novel is responsible for some tropes. Some good, some not so good. First of all, our idea that vampires are people of nobility (counts and shit) comes from this, where Countess Karnstein is our vampire. Second, shapeshifting abilities also come from this, in this case it’s a big old black cat and not a bat, but it originated here. Vampire thrall also comes from Carmilla’s hold over Laura and so does the fixation of vampires as an Eastern European species. Some not great things that come from it? Well the predatory lesbian stereotype certainly isn’t fought against here.

From a modern lens, it’s easier to see Carmilla’s somewhat pure obsession with Laura. But to Victorians this would have been positively repulsive. What isn’t repulsive to them? Vampires went from being a folk fear about the dangers of the wilderness to the ultimate symbol of sinful, taboo temptation. Kinky.

As you all probably know, there’s some little webseries, somewhere, about this novel. In true Millennial fashion it’s set in a modern day college dorm and is told in the form of vlogs. But it works. Like really works. And, like Faking It, is pretty damn representative when it comes to the queer population. Sure, the only real orientations shown so far on this show are lesbian and straight boys (can we get a bi in here somewhere??) but there’s a non-binary character and no one makes a fuss about the plethora of lesbians running all over this campus. Also, it’s not a coming out story, which is rad.

Another, less exciting, example of this was James Franco’s (gag) remake of Mother May I Flirt With Danger. I tried to get Morgan to watch it with me. You can guess how that went. It was a nifty idea and totally plays on how vampires are basically queer by definition but it was also a James Franco creation–and conveniently ignored the history of Carmilla in favor of Dracula. Bleh.

Anyway, if any baby gays out there need to be directed to watch some shit, Carmilla is slowly becoming one of the many pieces of media in the lesbian right of passage canon. So go watch it, it’s free on YouTube and very bingeable. Watch Franco’s dumb movie too, if you want.

So this probably should have been my first post, but I enjoy being unexpected. Plus, as much as this chick is the literal definition of a lesbian in every possible way you could think of it, she’s also kind of antiquated at this point. It’s kind of like how The Price of Salt was the big lesbian book for decades and then 90s happened and we have all this other stuff. That’s Sappho, except for like, thousands of years or whatever.

For those of you under a rock, the word “lesbian” comes from people who inhabited the Isle of Lesbos off the coast of Greece. It has this association with lady loving because Sappho, a frequenter of this island, wrote some pretty gay shit. She wrote a lot of poetry and, despite what uptight academics want you to think about it, she has some uber personal relationships with some of these women (but you know, we all write longing poetry for our best gal pals). Take for example, this little diddy:

I have not had one word from her

Frankly I wish I were dead

When she left, she wept

a great deal; she said to me, “This parting must be

endured, Sappho. I go unwillingly.”

I said, “Go, and be happy

but remember (you know

well) whom you leave shackled by love

And that’s just the first few lines. And that’s not even the best example. A lot of her stuff is a little too adult for me to post on here with Abby somehow finding out and banning my permissions. Like it gets crazy erotic. We’re talking fanfiction level of descriptions about some of the stuff she got up to (or wanted to get up to) with the other women on this island.

The problem is, a lot of people still use the excuse of “women were just really close to each other” to try and take the queer lens of Sappho’s stuff. Well I will gladly let a chick borrow a tampon but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go out and write a poem about how much I’m going to want to kill myself because we’ve parted ways out of the bathroom. Sure, we all have best friends but fuck if I’m gonna write any of them poetry. I WILL however, craft some artistic shit for a hot girl. If I was like…artistic at all. But I try. It’s my charm that wins ‘em.

Point is, don’t let any stuffy, tweed jacket professor try and tell you we’re grossly misinterpreting Sappho’s poems and intended audience. This chick had a slew of girlfriends in her life and wasn’t afraid to be blunt about it. Things are called “sapphic” for a reason. Don’t let the man tell you otherwise.

Stay classy pals.

Before we even begin I don’t want to hear anything about the urchin who shall not be named also reading this book. She had good taste in a book one time. Good for her. Well not book, it’s actually graphic memoir. A tale many of us out there are probably all too familiar with: young gay realizes she is in fact a young gay and picks the least available person she possibly could to crush on. At an all girls summer camp.

Maggie Thrash is the shit, first of all, and writes cool stuff. Her drawings are also pretty snazzy. She combined that shit together with her own gay odyssey as a teenager and boom: awesome read right here. More specifically this is about Thrash’s summer at camp where she realizes she has a massive crush on a 19 year old counselor with a reputation as the token lesbian of the woods. The counselor seems to return her interest but with serious trepidation. It builds a little when the bitchy head of the camp warns both of them to keep it professional.

There’s also a real Freaks and Geeks thing going on too thanks to some popular biotches and an intense rivalry on the shooting range between Thrash and some chick. Overall Thrash’s character comes across super well for the seemingly simplistic drawings and the story has an earned, if not totally happy ending.

And that’s enough of me pretending to be a book critic.

Read this shit. It’s great for kids out there in need of a little solidarity. Coming out can be an embarrassing and troubling time. Bee-leeev-meeee. And seeing Thrash be so super open about it (puns) while knowing the super cool human being she grew up to be is crazy awesome. And the memoir is funny as shit. We need more YA stuff like this for everyone out there that actually has character and isn’t some cookie cutter John Green tragi-romance complete with a manic pixie dream girl.

So go buy it, go read it. Tell me how much you loved it and how I was right, otherwise don’t say anything at all.

I’m out.

So, I’m no expert on horror shit. I like it, I’ll go watch it. But I’m not about to sit here and analyze that garbage and pretend it’s some hugely academic thing. MTV has got some shitty shows, but this one was actually pretty enjoyable once you got passed the first few minutes of the white suburban high schooler onslaught. God. One thing that was pretty exciting at first ended up being pretty goddamn annoying, though.

There’s this character, Audrey, played by actor Bex Taylor-Klaus (who is awesome af) who starts out the first episode getting outed when a video of her making out with a girl in her car gets leaked onto the internet by her former childhood friend. Ouch. That’s not the annoying part (though it was a douche move). Also not the annoying part is when Audrey is asked about her sexuality and she responds kind of hesitant to label it. Totally cool. What isn’t cool is the show’s repeated use of “bi-curious” to constantly refer to Audrey’s orientation.

Bi-curious can be your thing, if you currently identify that way, go for it. But here we have a girl who was not just hooking up in a car. There are pretty emotional scenes of her and her lady love talking, hanging out, sharing less lustful kisses, and generally being girlfriend-y. That doesn’t sound “curious” to me. But you know, this girl can’t possibly be truly in love or anything. She’s still just curious. Sure. And the issue I have here is the difference between defining a relationship as an exploration of feelings vs. “well she’s just bi-curious, it’ll go away.” Whatever Audrey ends up identifying, a permanent label of bi-curious should not be it.

Because god forbid we admit somebody is bi on TV and god forbid a girl have a meaningful relationship with another girl without calling it “curiosity.” Jesus H Christ that annoyed the crap out of me so much. Which sucks because the actor is cool as shit. They’re pretty active on social media and a total cutie. They’re also one of the more solid actors on this sometimes bleh worthy show. But hey, what do I know right?

There’s probably more pressing issues of bi-erasure out there I could be focused on. But this one irked me. NOT TO MENTION said not-a-girlfriend-girlfriend gets killed like three seconds into the first episode, leaving Audrey as our sole form of queer representation in the show. Which makes the cowardly “bi-curious” thing stand out even more. She’s just queer curious, and she only kissed a girl in one episode. So, that’s enough, there ya go.

For sooome reason that I can’t put my finger on, I’ve been reminded of Faking It a few times so far this summer. Can’t for the life of me figure out why…It’s weird because the show ended earlier this year, and I seemed to to be the only girl on my secret-not-for-posting-here lesbian forums that still watched it. But it’s definitely been on my mind lately. Who knows why though…

So Faking It. You’ve probably heard bad things from tumblr, and maybe even from TV critics. I’m not going to pretend it was the best show on TV, or that it’s a travesty for the state of modern media that it got cancelled. Shit happens. And I wasn’t super invested in it towards the end of its run. But at the very least I think we can all agree that Amy and Karma deserved a super gay ending. Well, it was not to be as our last season that apparently would have featured a conclusion to their arc will never come to be (that’s why you don’t hold your big narrative moments for future seasons that are only hypothetical, amateurs).

In the spirit of this blog, it definitely warrants mention how progressive this show was. Yes I wish they said the word “bi” earlier than they did, and yes their portrayal of some groups was stereotypical at times. But really, this was the only show on all of TV that featured as many diverse orientations and genders as it did. Lesbians, gay guys, eventually kind of bisexuals. The main character was a wonderful portrayal of questioning youth! And probably most progressively one of the leads was intersex, a plot that featured prominently, and in the last season they also featured a trans man. All in all, television is definitely going to be much less diverse now without this show on the air.

Oh! I think I just remembered why I’ve been constantly reminded of Faking It! Maybe it’s because the Karma and Amy dramatics has been playing out in front of my face for the past month. The forced drama of Karmy was definitely annoying at times in the show for many and believe me I understand why seeing it happen in person. I’m not going to name names of course, but it’s possible you guys know them? Maybe. Since we never got to see how Karmy turned out, I guess your guess is as good as mine as to how this one ends up. Really though, sincerely, I am hoping for the best for Amy…she had her heart broken way too many times and deserves a happy ending. Maybe my real life version of this will turn out better. Either way, I’ve got popcorn ready.

On to wilder and happier things kids. And that means picking your jams for your next gay as af party. Or the next time you’re feeling gay af. Which is, hopefully, always. Amirite? As this podcast’s resident DJ (you’re welcome) I’ve decided it’s my place to educate you rascals on the music you need to be listening to. And maybe give you a taste of what I like to jam to at my uber secret shindigs.

Despite all your emails, yes, the Rainbow Redlight Club is still invite only. Sorry ladies.

But, let’s get started on some gay playlist essentials. Kay? Kay.

Tegan and Sara

You had to know this would be first right? The ultimate lesbian music duo is a must on any uber proud playlist. Not to mention remixes of their stuff make for some great club hits if you’re into that kind of party (which I am). These two aren’t afraid of being open about their relationships or blatantly referring to their lady loves, which is great for those of us who don’t feel like having to change pronouns to make a song relevant to us.

Also, who doesn’t love Canadians?

Mary Lambert

If you ever need to slow it down at your party, or just give everyone a really good cry, this is the lady for you. She’s got that whole slow, sensual thing going on with some crazy good poetry skills. She’s uber honest and basically just wants everyone to hug it out and cry and live happily ever after. She’s also openly gay. Which is A++

Elohim

Ever heard of her? Probably not. Not to go all hipster on you guys, but it’s true. This chick is sick. She wears masks and shit constantly to keep herself anonymous for some artisty statement on letting the music speak for itself and yada, yada. She’s got good party music, fo sho. But she won my heart when she depicted a lesbian couple in her music video for “Sensations” (a song about sex, fyi). So now she owns my heart forever. Thanks babe.

Halsey

Duh. Went to a Halsey concert once and it was practically crawling with girls who looked like they walked straight out of Blue is the Warmest Color. Plenty of girls on dates at this one, even if they were all like 15 years old. Whatever. You do you younglings. But Halsey is a cool cat and openly bi. Her music is also super rad and hot shit right now.

Troye Sivan

A guy had to get on this list eventually, right? Besides the fact that EVERYONE is obsessed with his music right now (and I can’t blame them) the thing that’s cool about this cat is he practices what he preaches. He made a pretty cool trilogy of music videos about two dudes falling in love as kids and having a tough go of it once they hit young adulthood. While we all might be sick of the queer kids killing themselves narrative, Troye used it for good when he provided resources in the video to suicide help lines and donated money for queer youth charities. Right on.

There’s a lot more I could talk about, but I like nice even numbers like 5. Lists are always in 5 or 10 or 15. Something like that. And since I don’t feel like going to 10, you get 5. Comment if you want more, I guess.

Adios.

Okay, so I’m gonna be real with you…I never watched this show. I “watched” it through tumblr, translating some gifsets and crack posts and had a general idea of what was going on. There were some wlw ladies, something dystopian (bleh), kinda had a setting similar to Halo, all that jazz. And then I watched the internet IMPLODE when they killed off one half of said wlw ship, shortly after they reconciled their political (???) differences and did the do. Boom, stray bullet strikes again in a much less subtle and much more poorly written manner over ten years later.

The internet did some not great things, like get vicious and harass some members of the crew and writing team and the producer guy. Love him or hate him, internet harassment is still not the best outlet for getting anything accomplished when something like this happens. But the twelve year olds who learned how to work twitter might disagree with me, who knows. Apart from that though, I have to say, as much as it pains me to express an emotion…I’m actually kind of proud of it all????

???????

Anyway. The point here is in response to the most atrocious attempt at disguising killing off a woman, and a queer woman at that, a bunch of kids on the internet finally got their bunched panties together and did something good with all that energy. They raised a fuckton of money for the Trevor Project and started their own convention about queer representation in the media. Pretty cool right?

I really don’t give a rat’s ass about the next iteration of the sci-fi, dystopian, for-some-reason-teenagers-are-in-charge TV show/film/book/whatever. But it was pretty cool to see genre representation of a wlw relationship right? And when it got taken away for a dumb reason, we really should have an intelligent discussion about it instead of getting nitpicky on twitter and sending some hateful emails. Everyone’s powerful behind a keyboard, but some people actually know what to do with that, right?

I’m not really sure what I’m saying with this one besides good game kids. I wouldn’t recommend this show on my list of Eve’s Gay Shit for Newbies (it was once) but I would say: look at this cool thing that happened in response, right?

Anyway.

So, as you probably have known for a while or just, unfortunately, found out thanks to a certain dystopian series, lesbians die a lot in media. Sometimes I’m willing to justify the deaths as imperative to the plot and all that jazz, and sometimes it’s just stupid (look at you The Walking Dead). And while lesbians dying as probably been a thing forever in the history of entertainment media, there’s one incident we can trace all this recent hullabaloo back to. And that is season six of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

If you haven’t watched Buffy yet then I can’t help you. It’s 2016. That show is required viewing for basically every American who wants to form a coherent opinion on TV shows and movies. But for those of you still lagging: it’s a show about a girl who hunts vampires. Well, mostly. It’s a bit more complicated than that but there’s magic and demons and vampires and hot girls and an apocalypse every other season. And despite the fact that Buffy and her gal pal Faith were like the lesbian-couple-that-never-was of my 90s, there was an actual wlw couple in the show. Actually there were two. But the one we’re talking about mostly today is Willow and Tara.

I mentioned Tara for a quick, hot second in my last post and unfortunately, her name is tied to a very crappy trope in film and TV that involves killing off one half of your lesbian couples and causing all sorts of heartache for everyone. Well, here I’m going to do something that might make me WILDLY unpopular but I thrive off the haters…Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s a big problem that queer female characters seem to get picked off like flies in TV shows and movies but I don’t really think Joss Whedon and Buffy is really as much to blame as people think?

To get some context here, Willow and Tara had the first on-screen lesbian kiss on network TV. Joss Whedon was so adamant about its inclusion that he threatened to leave the show if the network cut the scene, as they expressed a desire to do. Ultimately, it made it into the final cut of season 5’s The Body and we all got one step closer to some massively good representation. And then disaster struck in season 6 when Willow and Tara broke up, then got back together just in time for Tara to find herself the victim of a stray bullet.

I think we need to look at the context of this stray bullet. For sure, the bs with The 100 was poor writing and garbage and an annoying attempt at replicating this, but again, dear friends, context. Willow and Tara had possibly the most long-lasting, healthy, flaw-free relationship. Since their beginning in season 4 they had virtually no fights, no relationship arcs, nada. They were a smooth sailing ship. Which, there’s nothing wrong with, but when you’re talking entertainment, at a certain point you need to make your couple be an actual human couple with some eff ups. Not too mention, Willow herself was kind of a pristine character who needed some emotional turmoil and growth since everyone except her seemed to get that.

So season 6 was all about the consequences of Willow’s reliance on magic. It starts with her guilt at bringing Buffy back from the dead against her will and spiraled as she found herself going to the magic equivalent of crack houses to get high on the power, using magic to make her girlfriend forget a fight, and being a neglectful babysitter to Buffy’s sister. Tara, like many other halves in a relationship with an addict, breaks it off until she can prove her magic sobriety. And it seems to be working after some struggling episodes for Willow. She’s forced to deal with the consequences of her actions and she seems to be getting a handle on herself. But not so fast.

Just as Tara and Willow decide to reconcile, in the first and only episode where Amber Benson (Tara) was credited as a series regular, Tara finds herself the unintended target of Warner’s stray bullet as he attempts to shoot Buffy (he does end up hitting her too, eventually). Tara drops dead in Willow’s arms and my girl goes APE SHIT. For two episodes she goes on a heartbroken rampage to track down everyone responsible for Tara’s death and, when that’s not enough to quell her pain, decides she’s just going to end the world before she’s brought back to her senses by her oldest and best friend and spends a good portion of the show’s final season recovering and coping with what she’s done and her connection with magic.

So why does context matter here? Because it’s super meta. Tara’s death was one of the few where the intent to shock was purposeful to put the audience in Willow’s position, right down to the tricky use of the opening credits to fuck with you. You needed to understand how someone who spent 5 seasons as a quiet little mouse was now willing to obliterate everything and everyone. And Tara didn’t go away, she played an important part for Willow’s growth in the next season and Willow eventually had a relationship with another girl, Kennedy, one of the Potentials, who ultimate helps her not to fear her magic. So the representation did not disappear with Tara’s death.

So, what’s my point? The trope is real, but its source gets distorted. People much less intelligent and caring made a poor man’s version of Joss Whedon’s writing move and the result is homophobia and garbage.

Until next time, pals.

Hello. It’s me. This is like 8 million years late but I also don’t tend to watch things unless they’re on my computer screen. Yeah, yeah. Pirating is bad. But ain’t nobody got $12 to shell out every week for a movie and then get busted for sneaking in gummy bears so I didn’t have to pay an extra $3 on their crazy food price hike.

But I digress.

If you’re an academic of the queer variety, you’ve probably at least heard of the Patricia Highsmith novel The Price of Salt from the good old repressed era of the 1950s. It’s a pretty gay book. Two ladies fall in love while one of them is trapped in a custody battle for her children and the other is dealing with a really annoying boyfriend. It’s dramatic, it’s intense, it was probably way ahead of it’s time when it came out (ha, puns). And it’s like, queer reading 101. And get this, it’s one of the only lesbian stories with a happy ending. No one gets shot or jumps off a building or moves away in heartbreak.

I know what you’re thinking, that sounds fake, but it’s not. Lesbians can be happy too, apparently.

Because of that, it’s been the ultimate lesbian novel, basically since it came out (ha). The thing is, this book was super duper helpful for cultivating and also combating lesbian stereotypes. Besides the uncharacteristically happy ending for our lady lovers, the novel also combated the gendered stereotypes of a lesbian relationship, aka the idea that someone has to be “the man” in a relationship. There’s this whole existential crisis that our bambi character, Therese, has when she realizes she and Carol don’t fit the butch-femme paradigm she’s come to know in lesbian relationships. It’s just two gals being pals. Important book right here.

It’s been adapted before as one of those boring radio dramas but the big one we all know and love is the movie that came out last year with Cate Blanchett (bless us for we are not worthy) and Rooney Mara (adorable). It was a pretty good movie, actually, it was one of the best movies of the year. People smarter than me (yes, they do exist) put on plenty of “best of” lists at the end of the year and it got all sorts of dazzling reviews.

SO WHY WAS IT SNUBBED AT THE OSCARS?

I’ll be real here, I don’t know much about the social hierarchy and popularity contest crap that goes with the Oscars. But I do know it’s pretty effed up when Brokeback Mountain, a queer film about two men falling in love gets all sorts of praise while the film adaptation of the ULTIMATE lesbian novel gets totally brushed off, despite everyone putting it on their shortlists. And they didn’t even fill up all their category slots.

But I’m digressing again, I guess.

The real point of all of this is to convince you guys to go read this book. I know we live in a better time and lesbian media is a lot more accessible than back then, but this book has persisted through the decades and is still one of the most positive representations of a wlw relationship. So do yourself a favor and dry those tears from when Tara was shot and read something heartwarming.

This is Eve, signing off and wishing you a very gay week.

Howdy younglings. If you’ve found yourself stumbling onto my blog, congratulations, your life just improved a little. I’m kidding (no I’m not). On the real though, I thought I’d offer some counter blogging to the ever ending paragraphs of academia on other parts of our website…Not that our dear Emily’s blogs haven’t been incredibly informative and overenthusiastic. But I’m hear to give the kids what they really want.

Lesbians.

Amirite?

I know we’re a news podcast (ish) and have our journalistic duty and are playing at being the Scooby Gang in the desert. But hey, this is the internet and maybe you’re in the mood for a little freedom of expression right? After all, think of the countless generations of women loving women who had to slog through libraries and archives in secret to get their soul searching on. I’m your one-stop-shop for all that is gay in pop culture.

Or I try to be.

I thought I’d start out this first blog post pretty light with a nice, clean list of things that could be gayer. Which is everything. But specifically, some things that really missed their mark when it comes to going all the way on getting some ladies in love. So enjoy, be enraged, and go write some fanfiction.

Game of Thrones

With the amount of boobies we see in this show, you’d think they’d let some of the ridiculously hetereosexual (and kind of weird) sex scenes fade away into something a little more diverse. DON’T WORRY. THERE’S SEVERAL SCENES OF TWO DUDES MAKING OUT AND DOING THE DO. That’s okay. But six seasons deep and we only recently finally got to see two women making out (thank the old gods and the new for Yara Greyjoy). Here’s to hoping for something more than flirting from Yara and Dany next season. I’m still licking my wounds that Sansa and Margaery will never be a canon couple now.

Ghostbusters

When you got four badass ladies hunting down ghosts, how can you deny me an amazing ghosthunting girlfriends romantic subplot? COME ON. Kate Mckinnon is the first out female cast member of SNL whose character was very subtly coded as having a serious thing for Kristen Wiig’s character. But that’s as far as it got. I hope this one gets a sequel because I need to see Kate McKinnon at her full (gay) potential.

Jessica Jones

Okay here me out. I don’t really vibe with the romantic lens on Jessica’s relationship with her sister, adopted or not. But I also got absolutely nothing from her weird, unstable relationship with Luke Cage. He’s a solid ally and friend, but there were zero sparks going on there. Get her some kind of superhero girlfriend. I’ve seen fanfiction, it’s 900% doable. Especially after what a scumbag the last romantic partner in her life turned out to be.

Agent Carter

You do not, I repeat, do not kiss your friend as a diversive tactic without having some sort of romantic subplot show up. I’ve seen TV Tropes, I know how this works. You kiss as a cover-up, you get several episodes of unresolved romantic tension. Don’t mess with me Marvel.

There’s more. I can think of like five as I’m writing this. But I have a word limit on this dumb blog template (which I will fix for next time). So for now, adios my friends. I’ll be back with more, don’t you worry.